Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
