Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
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