I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
