Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize