he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my shit smells like andre
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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