the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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