my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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