so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
