i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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