it hurts more in the daytime
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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