i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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