he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
