I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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