Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Randomize
