Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
