I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Ketchup is God's man juice
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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