Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
