He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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