I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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