A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
