I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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