i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
