her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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