do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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