Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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