So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
