first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
