Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
