y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
