There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
