what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
