Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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