I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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