ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Randomize
