So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
