bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
