While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Small penises have feelings too.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
