There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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