Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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