My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
