I'm gonna have a badass scar
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
