Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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