I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
