I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
