hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize