Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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