yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
