Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
