I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
