no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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