Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
