dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
