mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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