Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
