we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
