u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
