conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
