I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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