I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
