Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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