He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
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You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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