but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
