so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
