I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
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I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
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Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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