Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
