I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
